By shavixmir
Forget those painting motivational blues
"Wake up in the evening, don't have much else to do,
Stare out the window, enjoying the view,
Glare at the plastic while I put on my shoes,
Oh how to forget these painting motivational blues..."
Everyone's been there! hunched over their cluttered desks at 01:30 hours; the bright light of the lamp shining over the shoulders; paint brush in hand; wondering what to do about that strange smudge on the wall, pondering which age you were when you first learnt to tie your shoelaces or asking one's self what it would be like in a world with new episodes of Seinfeld.
Have you ever wondered how to get out of a slump? How to pick yourself up, brush off the dandruff and get back to work? How to make having sex nothing more than a distraction from decorating your Warhammer cannon?
Well, here's the ultimate guide to motivating yourself to pick up that paintbrush and start painting!
"I looked down upon the hordes on my table,
Then over at the TV with that movie with Clarke Gable,
Finally hoping the light will blow a fuse,
Oh how to get over these painting motivational blues..."
The reality of enjoyment:
The joy of painting will only be achieved if one has set the right goals for one's self. This can be said about enjoying anything! Here's what I wrote about setting goals:
"I'd go with Bertrand Russel to start off with. He wrote "The principa mathematica", which won't tell you anything what-so-ever about anything slightly motivational.
But, he wrote a great little book called: "The conquest of happiness."
Now, this is an absolute gem. It literally tells you how to become happy, using logical arguments.
One of the statements held within this classic is: "The road to your goal is more important than the goal its self."
He took the example: You want to be a famous author. Now, to become an author you need to write a book. The completion of the book is your main goal, for that needs to be done to become an author (obviously famous people who get ghost writers to write their autobiographies are an exception.....).
The majority of the time, you will be "becoming" an author. You will be writing. In fact, even if you complete a book, you may not get it published and you still won't be a famous author.
The road to your goal is writing. What the late, great, Russel is telling you is: to be happy in your conquest of becoming a famous author, you must enjoy writing. If you don't, you are wasting your time and the chances are you won't be very happy.
Now. To play warhammer you need an army. Dare I say a painted army? Your goal, anyway, as you suggest, is to have a painted army.
The road to this goal is painting the army. If you don't enjoy it, change your goal. Or you will not be happy."
Yes! Now, if this hasn't cheered you up no end, I don't know what will! So, hoping you've not slit your wrists in either depression or boredom, and equally hoping you have set yourself realistic goals, let's get on to the tips on how to motivate yourself!
"I really, really want to play this game,
And it really, really is such a shame,
But I can't be arsed, it really, really is true,
Oh how do I get rid of these painting motivational blues..."
Nothing like a friend or two:
A lot of people get really motivated when working in groups. I went to the trouble to ask what makes painting in a group more enjoyable than painting alone. The most common answer was: "One soggy biscuit doesn't make an orgy."
I have no idea what-so-ever what that's supposed to mean, but working in groups can motivate.
A friendly chat. Showing each other what you're doing. Helping each other when the griffon's wings won't stick to the body. There's a lot to be said in favour of group therapy.
Obviously, if you are easily distracted, this may not be the option for you!
Some folks like to work with their partner. Sitting beside each other behind his desk; nice and cosy; giving each other loving glances over the dry-brushed horses bums.
A feeling of togetherness can overcome quite a lot of hesitations about the hobby. A word of warning though, you don't want to be sharing your hobby with a new partner. That'll just end up in kinky sex under the table with the paintbrushes.
Some people don't have friends. Or relationships. What I do is put my Darth Vader doll on the desk in front of me and ask him what he thinks of my painting.
Variation
Remember painting those swordsmen? All 40 of them in one go? Recall asking yourself if this is supposed to be the meaning of life? Well, maybe it's just best not to paint all 40 in one go!
The odd hero, the spare horse or the whimsical chariot every 5 or 6 swordsmen will work wonders. Maybe just painting one or two models at a time and leaving the rest in the box! Keeps the desk nice and neat and it's easier on the brain. If your brain thinks there's not much to do, it will function better than when it's overloading.
Think of painting like you do food. Everyone loves a thick juicy steak. But you don't want to eat that thick and juicy steak every single day! One likes the odd piece of salmon on occasion or a good cut of venison at Christmas.
Think of food like you do sex! Everyone likes having a steady partner, but every so often one just...
Think of finishing every single sentence as playing with one's life.
Deadlines
It's a proven fact (yeah, like anything I ever write is proven...duh...) that people deliver best when under a little stress. Not too much stress, but a little stress.
School students often don't start their projects until they've nearly run out of time, writers generally don't start writing until the day before publication and I don't pay my fines. Full stop.
There's a very good reason for this phenomena; necessity is the mother of all invention! Think of creativity as the embodiment of Warhammer invention...
Try setting a couple of game dates with friends. Agree that you can only play with the total amount of points you have painted (with a maximum, obviously) and get cracking!
"I'll do anything as long as I don't need to paint,
I'll take a cold shower, indeed, 'till I faint,
I'll daydream for hours about Cameron and Drew,
Oh help me get rid of these painting motivational blues..."
Competition
As every free market laissez faire capitalist republican swine is more than glad to repeat to you (over and over and over again), humans love competition.
They're also not rational, so there goes Ayn Rand's theory down the drain of history's sewage...
But, back to Warhammer in general and painting to be specific.
Start a competition with your friends! Make various categories: Best conversion, best painted model, sexiest looking unit and overall greatest looking army.
If everyone puts in a euro or two, then there may be a nice little prize for the winners.
Competitions motivate you (as long as you're not making SOMEONE ELSE rich...sorry...had to be said) and can inspire you to paint like Michael Angelo or Rubens.
Distractions
Some people don't like being distracted. Some people do. Basically, you're going to fall into one of the two categories.
If you're the sort of person who doesn't like being distracted it's probably best to work and paint in a highly sterile environment: No posters on the walls, no figures on display, a warning poster on the door reading: "Do not disturb" (these can generally be stolen in most 3 star or higher hotels) and only a glass of water for nourishment.
On the other hand, there are people who like little distractions to keep them motivated. A few motivational distractions are:
Foot massages.
There's nothing better than having your feet massaged whilst detailing a pistolier's face. There are other great physical distractions to be enjoyed whilst painting as well, but considering the goal group who are probably going to be reading this (sweaty, smelly, spotty teenagers) I won't mention blow jobs or feather torture.
Movies.
A movie playing in the background is an excellent distraction. A movie you've seen is even better! Just paint a little, watch a little, then paint some more. Some great movies, which are really re-watchable and do not have much of a plot which needs following are: The blues brothers, Oh brother where art thou, Star Wars, The Rocky horror picture show and Full metal jacket.
Music.
Probably most people, besides the most indisposed of ADHD patients; strung out on overdoses' of Ritalin, listen to music whilst painting.
Music inspires, but even more important, it influences the mood you are in!
Here are some classic CD's which create atmosphere and are well worth listening to: The Sheik yer Bouti Tango (Frank Zappa), Raindogs (Tom Waits), Lord of the Rings (soundtrack), Blonde on Blonde (Bob Dylan) and Wish you were here (Pink Floyd).
Besides listening to music, another great thing to listen to and paint to at the same time are stand up comedies. A few great artists to download, buy or steal are: Bill Hicks (funniest man to have ever lived, try Arizona Bay...dare tell me you didn't wet your pants with laughter!), Lewis Black and George Bush JR. (assorted speeches).
"I'll spend hours writing really longs posts,
On demon steeds, rats and spirit hosts,
I now go to church and kneel on the pews,
And pray for an end to these painting motivational blues..."
Little things that make the difference:
Here are a few tips which fit into all and no category:
Buy new equipment! Nothing like a new brush, new paints or a new lamp to make you want to sit down and use them!
Paint in chunks. Don't do too much at the same time. 15 minute blocks, no more.
Discipline! Think of painting as storming up hamburger hill with Hendrix playing: "Voodoo chile" live from a helicopter overhead... Go for it. 2 hours a day. Non-stop. Don't give up, never give in! The only good soldier is one that's painted!
Storylines. Think up the fluff of your army before you start painting. This will give you a goal to go for. Give the characters names and talk to them! Tell them what you're doing to them and how much you love them.
Reward yourself! Place a nice slab of strawberry fruit cake, space-cake or a cake of chocolate on the table; within sight, and only eat it once you've finished the task you're setting out to do.
Don't use ice-cream, for there's a chance it might melt.
Leave your mess behind, so that your partner (or mother) will clean it up. There's nothing that motivates creating a mess better than not having to clean it up!
Get drunk. There's nothing like 6 cans of beer, a bottle of wine and 4 shots of vodka to get one motivated. Best not to paint after the 3rd shot of vodka though, you might be getting sloppy.
Use a rotation system. Have 3 types of painting job going on a the same time: Horse's flanks, character's face and 4 soldier's weapons. All three should involve different painting techniques. Rotate between them.
Get your partner to want to get you painting in the kitchen while she (or he) is doing the dishes. This can be achieved by ignoring her.
Then leave a mess so that she wants you to hurry up and finish the job, so she (or he) has a nice clean kitchen again!
Now, STOP A-READING AND GET-A-PAINTING!!!!
In the end, you see, it all boils down to three basic facts:
Breathing
Pumping blood
And chemical reactions.
Don't worry too much about it all though. Anything and everything gets boring once monotony sets in. That's normal. That's life. Just remember the wise words by the Dutch painter/poet Lucebert: "Everything of value is vulnerable."
So is your time! Only do what you enjoy and do nothing which wastes away the few precious hours you have!!!
"Oh yes, how I love writing long essays,
But, you know, it's just one of those days,
And I wish I had time to paint a wizard or two,
Now that I've got rid of my painting motivational blues..."